“Did you think we’d make it this far?” I asked him. He told me no, that he’d told me he didn’t think it was going to work, four weeks in. I completely forgot about that! Like Ruth Bader Ginsburg noted, sometimes it’s better to be a little deaf with your spouse, while married.
Emma and Guillermo came over for dinner Tuesday. I reheated some delicious Lemon Chicken Thighs (recipe to come) I’d made the night before to go along with Caesar Salad (made by Zeke) and Sausage and Onion Pizza, that got a little burnt on the bottom. It’s getting harder and harder for Emma to navigate and she said when she drops things these days, she’s not sure she will even be able to get up. She was wearing some strap under her belly that a co-worker recommended for back pain. In my day, they told us to wear girdles! It reminded me of something a horse would wear, but, if it works, more power to her.
She was talking about things Guillermo did that drive her crazy while she’s pregnant and I was talking about things her Dad does that drive me crazy in general. Like putting soap in the kitchen sponge (who does that?), leaving little crumbs on the counter when he cuts bread (evidence that he’s been there) and re-loading the dishwasher after I load it. Come to think of it, most of my complaints about him revolve around the kitchen. Oh! And looking over my shoulder when I cook (and offering unsolicited advice). I hate that!
But an anniversary is not a time to nit pick, so off we went to Tam Tam, a Vietnamese restaurant downtown, across from the courthouse, that I’d heard was great. It was a very funky- not fancy- place. Kind of a funny pick for our anniversary, but the food was great and I loved it! It was interesting and adventurous, kind of like our marriage. We talked about favorite trips we’ve taken and future trips we want to take and came home and ate our Misha’s Cupcakes and Vegan Guava Cheesecake, compliments of Tam Tam.
My low point in our marriage was when we had three teenage girls at home, while I was going through menopause. I feel if I could survive that, I could survive anything. But, when kids are at home, you’re in the thick of it and now it’s just us and this big, empty house. It’s so quiet! All the grandkids are out of town (until July) and we are trying to navigate this next chapter in our life as Empty Nesters. We’ve been looking at houses, but the more we look, the more depressing it gets.
And, while twenty years is a big deal, like age, it’s just a number. The question is really: “How is your marriage today? Do you still do things to show that you love each other? Are you happy with each other?” Yes, yes and yes. It’s time for the next chapter in our lives and I am ready for it. After being married twice (17 years for #1) I think I’ve learned a couple things that are important in marriage.
#1 Communication #2 Compromise #3 Respect #4 Appreciation #5 Being a little deaf
The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.”
Julia Child
Up Next: Lemon Chicken Recipe and Tam Tam review
]]>If I’ve heard any phrase repeated lately, in the midst of the coronavirus Pandemic, it’s this one. While I think most of us believe this, the question to follow is “When?”
And, of course, none of us knows. We could look at what happened in China, but the U.S. isn’t China. There a charts and statistics aplenty, enough to make your head spin. We will not know how this is going to play out, how widespread and catastrophic it will be, until we know. The human species doesn’t like the uncertainty of it all, the loss of control over outcome of events. But the best thing we can do is STAY HOME, except when absolutely necessary and then taking all recommended precautions. Americans don’t like to be told what to do- we love our freedom and this unseen virus is taking our freedom away.
When I was at CVS recently, there was only one other person in line and the lady was on top of me. Why? Has she not heard about Social Distancing? And I’ve made recent trips to grocery stores in the past week- Publix, Milams & Whole Foods- and there are so many people in there, it does not feel safe. There was a lady with her cart on one side of the aisle in Publix; she was directly across from her cart, checking out the sea salt of all things, completely blocking the aisle. And I wanted to be like “Really, lady?” And I was at the small Publix, where there’s no way you’re six feet apart from each other down any aisle. So, panic, unrest, anxiety erupts.
These times have made us tense and, for me, less patient. So for now, I’m staying home and living off what we have in the fridge and pantry. I was never a Girl Scout and I don’t feel prepared for whatever this is, but my kitchen, fridge and freezer is pretty well stocked. I will try InstaCart the next time I need food and drink. Even getting take-out feels iffy, when there are several people picking up at the same time. My husband got pizza last night at Miami’s Best, and it was packed. They charged him incorrectly, so he paid the $40 for two pizzas, and decided to haggle with them later, away from possible corona infection.
So, we’re stuck at home.
Of course there are upsides to being forced to quarantine- an Italian word meaning forty days (quarantina). Will it be forty days? The musical word sounds nice enough and my friend Martha’s mother had a theory that many plagues and pestilences took place during Lent, so that by Easter, it will be over. But will it? Apparently Trump thinks so, but I’m taking my advice from scientists, not politicians.
The worry about who the coronavirus will affect, how many people will die, if we have enough tests, masks, ventilators, hospital beds, medical personnel is overwhelming. Added to that, is what the pandemic is doing to our economy. The stock market, of course, but all the industries and people out of work, as well. The fallout from this COVID-19 is mind-boggling and terrifying. I have a couple shows I like to watch on TV, but lately they’ve been interrupted with more coronavirus briefings. Nothing seems normal anymore and I’m trying not to check my phone 24/7 for the latest news update.
The nicest part about being stuck at home, for me is that I’ve been taking walks with my husband around the neighborhood- six feet apart from other people, of course. I often walk about the neighborhood, but Zeke usually goes to the gym (now closed) so we’ve been walking, something we used to do when we were first married. It gets us out in the fresh air and, as we walk down the trail, if we’re approaching someone, we step away, onto the street. Unfortunately, most people aren’t taking the same precautions. Still, I’ve never seen so many people walking, running and riding their bikes in our neighborhood as I have this past week and a half.
While I know some people are saying this is a great time to get around to projects you’ve been avoiding at home, this feels too stressful for me at this time. I’ve been meditating more, doing yoga from You Tube videos, praying, watching shows on Netflix and reading books. Easy ones, like cookbooks and Bruce Springsteen’s autobiography Born to Run. This is not a time to read War and Peace, watch Pandemic, or work on my taxes. I crave stress-free activities. I’m also been spending more time in my yard.
I’ve been weeding and pruning, watering and tending to my yard. I’m planning on turning my meditation garden into a rock, zen garden, so have been removing the grass and weeds from that area. My herb & vegetable garden was filled with weeds and leaves, so I cleaned that all out, swept it up and gave it a good watering. I also planted some seeds with Wyatt today. It’s such an exciting thing to see a tiny green sprout erupt out of black soil- something concrete and living to look forward to. It gives me hope; I always turn to gardening when I am overwhelmed.
I love watching CBS This Morning on Sunday mornings. It usually has interesting stories, with artists, musicians, actors being interviewed and different themes each week; Jane Pauley is the host. This Sunday, Jane Pauley wasn’t there and it was mostly about the coronavirus, so it wasn’t as good as normal, but they always end with a couple minutes of video somewhere in nature, like a national park. No people- just the sites and sounds of somewhere beautiful and quiet.
Last Friday, March 20th, was the first day of Spring. I wanted, in this new blog, to photograph my yard and garden during the four seasons of the year and post them here. So today, I leave you with photos of my Spring Garden. A little bit of hope and brightness in a world that can feel so full of doom and gloom these days.
“One is nearer God’s heart in a garden, than anywhere else on earth.” Dorothy Frances Gurney
