My friend Katy texted me last week: “Is this the end of civilization? 2020 is the worst.” But she actually has enjoyed being able to spend time with her only daughter Chelsea, who works at a ritzy hotel in Manhattan. She’s been home in Orlando for a while since her hotel’s not re-opening until September; I can’t imagine another scenario where that would happen. Katy works at Disney, which is re-opening July 11th. I asked A.J. if she wanted to take Wyatt to Disney (we were supposed to go in April) but she said no, she wants to wait. I get it. Universal and Sea World are opening next month as well.

While my sister Elise, who’s a nurse for an OB doctor, said to her practice, which has cut back hours: “Don’t worry, in nine months we’ll be overrun with new patients!”, expecting a baby boom from people sheltering at home, this may not be true. Studies show 60% of people aren’t having sex on a weekly basis in lockdown. While, this is understandable, (especially if you’re home alone) even masturbation is down. Apparently the stress, anxiety and instability of this current situation is not sexy. I have to say that the plague, impending sickness and possible death surrounding the coronavirus, certainly doesn’t put me “in the mood”.

In other news: I got a new laptop. Not that I was planning on it, but that “liquid” I spilled on it late one night essentially destroyed it. My old one, a MacBook Pro, is nowhere to be found in the Pandemic (with everyone needing one for work/school etc..) so I switched to a MacBook Air. I’m still figuring out how to use it, including uploading photos, etc… There is a learning curve. I would go the Apple store for guidance, but of course they are closed.

On the Homefront: Zeke’s gone back to work full time (yippee!) and has graduated from Virtual Zoom Happy Hours, to regular Happy Hour at Riviera, which is now re-opened. Emma and Lauren took Eloise to the vet and discovered she actually had a medical condition, which may have caused the uncontrolled peeing. A roofer is supposed to fix one part of our leaking roof this week, if it ever stops raining. In rodent news, the rat has not been spotted lately, as far as I know. I’m not completely sure as I escaped to hunker down in the Keys. Can you blame me?

Emma (youngest) is getting her own apartment this month and is going to take on-line classes this summer at Miami-Dade before she goes to nursing school. Lauren, who also got into NYU Law School last week (#1 Tax Law in the US) finally decided on Georgetown in D.C. to attend in the Fall. Hurray! She left to visit her boyfriend in California for a month. So we almost have an empty nest. Not including the peeing cat, rogue rat and middle child.

Wyatt graduated from his three year old class last week. They had a drive-by ceremony at one of the parent’s house, with kids in cars, teachers attending, and there were little gifts for the graduates. Wyatt took a photo with one of his buddies, six feet apart. I guess 2020 is a year all graduates will remember, for better or worse. He is now bugging me for a mini-trampoline as a graduation gift. Since when did we get gifts for a three-year-old class graduation? Of course, I probably will break down and get it.

I had Wyatt Tuesday night and made pasta (his favorite meal), a green salad and focaccia. Zeke and I had watched Fat, Salt, Acid, Heat on Netflix and the author made focaccia in Italy. It looked delicious, so I gave it a try from a Frugal Gourmet recipe I made years ago. It’s pretty easy, essentially a pizza dough you spread flat and add toppings to. It’s made with yeast, which is about a hundred times easier than sour dough starter; I now know why yeast has been flying off the shelves and is impossible to find. I found a whole box of yeast at the Kmart in Key Largo and felt like I’d hit the lotto!

We had Emma’s birthday dinner at Riviera Country Club, her choice. It was a positive experience and felt very safe, especially since the dining room was basically empty. We wore masks to our table, the servers wore masks. I’m not sure how restaurants are doing now that they’re reopened in Miami, but when I walked through South Miami last week, the restaurants looked dead. Zeke and I went out for meals twice in the Keys this weekend. Saturday we went to Lorelie for drinks and an appetizer. They make a decent margarita and we had seared tuna and fish dip. We sat at a table outside on the deck, by the water.

On Sunday, some friends at the Sanctuary invited us out on their boat. What a treat to be out on the bay on a beautiful day! It re-lit Zeke’s desire to get a boat.(Not that it ever really went away.) We motored to local institution Alabama Jacks, docked and stepped out onto the wood deck. An older lady with a black mask greeted us saying,:

There’s a line out front you folks need to wait in. It’s probably an hour wait and once you get seated, we only have three waitresses, so who knows when you’ll get any food.

Our Welcoming Alabama Jacks Hostess

As she left, a guy sitting at the bar said: “And That’s the Hostess.” We accessed the situation- Alabama Jacks was packed with bikers and apparently, people who hadn’t been out of the house in ages and were desperate for a drink and some greasy conch fritters. We grabbed some beers to go and hightailed it to Gilberts. I think the reason it’s so crowded at Alabama Jacks is that you don’t need to go through the Key’s checkpoint to go there. The checkpoint ended last Monday, June 1st.

Miami Spice is starting two months early! Miami Spice began June 1st, instead of the normal August 1st, as an incentive to get diners into local restaurants. Eighty-eight restaurants are participating, down from the 200+ who normally participate. Since restaurants are only allowed 50% capacity, their margins of profit are already very low, so many restaurants don’t feel able to participate and make any money. Ironically, Miami Spice started as a way to get diners out to Miami restaurants after 9/11. I will definitely be checking out some restaurants for Miami Spice. Lunch is $25, Dinner is $39.

Another positive that’s come from the Coronavirus Pandemic, is the way people have met the challenge of working from home with creativity and enthusiasm. From parents thinking up fun ways to Homeschool, to teachers having to educate via Zoom (Quaranteachers), to the beautiful designs mask makers have come up with, I’m wowed by people’s imaginations. And Zoom has been invaluable for just about everything that used to be face-to-face: Court sessions, Therapy sessions, Happy Hours, Board Meetings, Presentations and Education of all sorts.

My daughter A.J. was going to do a succulent workshop for Mother’s Day in person, but revised it to a Zoom workshop. Participants got a beautiful box containing all the materials needed and the log in information to the Zoom workshop on the Monday after Mother’s Day. It was so much fun making the succulent terrarium, with the step by step instructions Ashley gave and seeing the fellow workshoppers (including my Mom and sister Kelley) on Zoom. Like many businesses, I think it’s something Ashley Jordan Events will incorporate into future endeavors.

Zeke and I like to watch Diners, Drive-ins and Dives with Guy Fieri (Triple D to those in the know), but lately he’s been getting take-out meal kits from different restaurants he visited in past shows and making their dishes on air. It’s not the same as his regular show, but it’s cool, different and fun. Musicians (like Bon Jovi) have been performing songs, sometimes alone, sometimes with others, actors, like Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame have been reading chapters from books, O Miami Poetry went virtual this year and there have been virtual tours of parks, beaches and museums (like Viscaya). While I can’t travel, I’m certainly getting ideas for traveling, which will make it all the more enjoyable when I can finally hit the road.

As far as restaurants around the country go, according to an article in Bon Appetit, if only the deep-pocketed restaurants reopen, this may reshape the country’s dining scene, in “devastating and homogenizing ways.” One of my Book Club ladies owns a couple chain restaurants and the PPP has become a problem for her, as well as many restaurant owners. According to the PPP, you need to re-hire back your full staff by the end of June. How is this possible when the restaurant can only open at 50% capacity? Adding to this problem, is most restaurant workers are paid low wages, so many people are better off taking unemployment and the $600 a week offered by the government until the end of July. Why would they want to show up at work, only to get paid less and possibly be risking their health and well being?

The restaurant my friend owns are located in Malls. And the last time we met and talked about it, she was unsure if she would re-open.

How do we know what dining is going to look like after this is over? Will people still be even going to Malls anymore?

she asked.

Of course, no one knows the answer. Most doctors are recommending not going to restaurants at this time, especially if you linger there for hours or can’t social distance. As for me, I will assess the risk, support restaurants that feel safe to me and tip well, because these servers are putting their lives on the line for us diners.

Another article I read is about how Canada is reopening, with “double bubbles”, a technique of social distancing that they borrowed from New Zealand, which has virtually eliminated coronavirus cases there. They’ve been experimenting with this practice for more than two weeks (the amount of time it takes coronavirus to appear) and the cases of COVID-19 have gone down. The double-bubble approach should only be tried in cities where community transmission is low and cases are decreasing.

The theory is that one family picks two other families that you feel safe with and socialize only with them. That way if someone (God forbid) comes down with coronavirus, the exposure is low. Of course, you should pick families that are wearing masks when out, practicing good hygiene (wash your hands) and limiting their outside exposure.

“The hope is that doubling the family bubble will reduce isolation and it’s toll on mental health. This is meant to be an intermediate step before opening up further.”

Vox, Sigal Samuel, June 2, 2020

So, if you’re not ready to jump into the coronavirus-filled pool that is Miami right now, you might try “double bubbling”. I realize we’ve already done it with a few couples we feel safe with and, so far, so good. Like Babs sang, “People who need people.” Apparently, we’re the luckiest people in the world. And so, fellow hunker downers, welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.

“Time is on my side, yes it is.”

Rolling Stones

I asked my friend Martha, who is a social Cuban butterfly, how she was holding up in the pandemic.

“Oh, I change from one mumu to another every day,” she said.

She really misses having dinner parties, socializing, going shopping and out to lunch.

Martha is kind of famous for her mumus, which are not actually mumus, but Mexican embroidered, cotton dresses. If she invites us to dinner and says “I’m in my mumu,” we know she’ll greet us barefoot and dinner will be a casual affair, around the kitchen table.

When I mentioned getting a mumu like Martha’s to Zeke a while ago, he was firmly against it. He thought it would be an indication I’d given up on life. Now, however, I asked how he would feel if I ordered a Mexican mumu and he said “At least I’ll know you’ve changed out of your pajamas.”

Because, even though last week I actually changed out of yoga clothes into dresses a couple times, this week I regressed, staying in my pajamas for more than the morning. It’s interesting to see how people are dressing during the stay-at-home coronavirus scare.

Chrissy Teigen said on Ellen, she’s in her element because she likes to lounge around in robes during normal circumstances. She has a wide variety of robes, acquired from all over, from vintage, to sexy and flirty; Stay at Home orders are the perfect opportunity to showcase them. The Pioneer Woman, who I watched yesterday, wore a kimono over a black top. I like kimonos, but certainly don’t think they’re the most practical thing to cook in, given the drapey sleeves. I can just see one landing in my pancake batter or being set aflame from the stove.

And some women are apparently going braless during this time of social isolation. This was actually an article in The Miami Herald last week. That is how desperate the situation is getting. The only news in the paper is coronavirus-related, even fashion wise (or lack thereof).

There was a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about a woman who went through her closet, trying on clothes that reminded her of happy occasions. She then took selfies and posted them to Instagram. She said it made her feel so much better about life. This sounds like the worst kind of torture to me. I HATE trying on clothes, even ones that remind me of happy occasions. And I’m sure a lot of them wouldn’t even fit me right now.

And there’s also the pillowcase challenge, where people are strapping a pillow to themselves with a belt, and taking selfies. Halle Berry rocked this look, looking like an Audrey Hepburn Breakfast at Tiffanys diva, but she could look good wearing a paper bag. I’m not jumping on this craze anytime soon; Lately, I just need a small pillow to scream into on occasion.

Every Day is a Bad hair Day

Everyone seems concerned with their hair these days, and what to do about it. I have a friend who had her hairstylist come to her house and color and cut her hair and also, the rest of the family. My friend Ellen attempting to cut what she calls her “tri-color” hair. She confessed it turned out lopsided. Our friend Sherida said she cut her own bangs and her boyfriend’s hair, but this is something she did before the pandemic. So, if you have those skills, go for it but I will not attempt to cut my own hair, nor any of my loved ones. For this, they should be thankful.

My hair is getting darker by the day, so I broke down and ordered a tip kit on Amazon, although It hasn’t come yet. I haven’t been a natural blonde since I was about 15, but when my hair gets dark I just don’t feel like myself. Luckily (I think) some of my hair is growing in grey so it doesn’t look as dark as usual. Come to think of it, my hair is tri-colored too with: my natural (dark) roots, highlighted ends and encroaching grey strands at the temples.

In the last six weeks, I’ve given myself two mani-pedis and endless facial masks. My nails never turn out as good when I do it myself (they always get messed up) and of course, I don’t have a massage chair, which is the best part of getting a mani-pedi. I have a friend who has her Nail Lady come to her house and I’m thinking that my friends who have Hairstylist/Nail Techs/Masseuses come to their house are on to something. Import your staff and be an island unto yourself.

I’m hoping my housekeeper will consider coming back soon. While the girls originally, in optimistic first days of the outbreak, were pretty good about picking up after themselves in the kitchen, these days there are countless cookie sheets, dishes, glasses and silverware collecting on the counter and in the sink. I finally left a note informing them to clean after themselves and that “Isa is not here.”

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

Emma was supposed to graduate from F.S.U. last Saturday. They did a Virtual Graduation at 2 p.m., but did not call individual names, as there were too many students. What normally stretches over two days, with two ceremonies a day, was condensed into one ceremony. I’m not sure who would want to watch a Virtual Graduation, especially without hearing the student’s name being called. The commencement addresses are usually something you suffer through to see your child cross the stage and grab their hard-earned (and expensive) diploma. Watching the ceremony, without that payoff in the end, seems pointless.

We did have a graduation dinner for Emma on Wednesday. She wanted stone crabs and, as luck would have it, my brother-in-law called to see if we wanted some Sunday. The only catch was, they were selling them in 10 pound portions, so we took 10 pounds and made three meals and a dip with them. Commercial fisherman who used to sell their stone crabs to hotels and restaurants have been left with a lot of inventory and no one to buy it. Stone Crab season ends May 15th.

The graduation dinner consisted of: cracked stone crabs with mustard sauce and butter, Joe’s tomatoes, Cole slaw, hash browns and pecan pie for dessert (Emma’s request). Zeke also made his famous tuna nachos as an appetizer to go with the celebratory champagne.

Since I had so many stone crabs, I made Crab Toast on Tuesday, a NYT recipe from Gabrielle Hamilton, chef and owner of Prune. It was delicious (even though I messed up the recipe). I served it with asparagus soup, topped with crispy prosciutto, making a perfect Spring meal. My favorite meal all week was a Stone Crab Roll I came up with, since I had leftover stone crab meat and a mayo, butter sauce. I served it on a butter-toasted hamburger bun (I had no hot dog buns) with shredded lettuce and a thin slice of beefsteak tomato. It was heavenly. The buttery crunch of the bread with the creamy, succulent crab meat, fresh snap of the lettuce and sweetness of the tomato, made it a memorable sandwich.

Zeke cooked on Sunday. I made a super easy 2-ingredient dip with chipotle in adobo and cashews; I served it with pita chips, cooked in the oven, for an appetizer. We sipped wine as Zeke grilled steaks on his charcoal grill. He made a delicious, perfectly cooked steak, with Gorgonzola cheese, a shallot, balsamic vinegar sauce, baked potatoes, salad and a baguette. Dessert was ice cream with a caramel fig sauce and a pita chip garnish.

Since I ordered seven heads of garlic on mistake, I made Chicken with Forty Cloves of Garlic for Monday’s meal, a delicious James Beard recipe. I served it with mashed potatoes, Brussel Sprouts and, of course, hot crusty bread to dip into the jus and spread the roasted garlic on. A tip: Farm Stores sells delicious freshly baked bread and it will save you a trip to the germy grocery store.

Start me Up…

I was very excited when I picked up some sourdough starter from a friend’s house, but when I asked for instructions on what to do with it, she told me to “Feed it three days every 12 hours, then once a week. Feed it an hour before you use it.” I wasn’t sure if I had sourdough starter on my hands or a demanding tamagotchi. I haven’t made any bread with it yet, but it’s on my list of future projects.

Probably the most exciting news this week is our tenants in our Key Largo condo finally left Friday, clearing the decks for us to reclaim “our little slice of Paradise”. Joy turned to dismay when we discovered several treasured items that their dog destroyed. There was also dog hair all over the couch and easy chair, which sent Zeke into a sneezing fit. I don’t think we’ll ever rent again. Lesson learned.

People in the Keys (and only Key’s residents can be down here now) don’t seem as vigilant about following rules for the coronavirus as in Miami. Publix on Saturday was packed with people, many without masks and not following the arrows indicating direction down the aisles. The cashiers and bag boys, did have masks, however. People walking down the street, for the most part, aren’t wearing masks.

“Maybe because there are so few cases?” I speculated to my sister Kelley, who’s been stuck at home by herself since this whole thing started.

“Or maybe because it’s the Keys, and people in the Keys don’t like to follow rules,” she said.

Zeke ordered me a cute face covering from the Florida Keys Brewing Company, one of our favored establishments. You wear it around your neck when not in use, then pull it up over mouth and nose when needed. It’s pretty neat. I have to admit, I’ve had a hard time with this mask thing. My sister Kelley gave me a mask she made, but it was a little large and gaped at my chin. I made my own mask with a bandana, but it’s so thick it practically suffocates me when I use it. My latest option, seems the best, although I discovered it doesn’t work with ponytails.

After unpacking stuff we brought down, having to call a locksmith to get into our owner’s closet (I packed the key IN the owner’s closet) and unpacking the boxes from the owner’s closet, we were too tired to cook so ordered Thai food from The Key Thai and Sushi. We got Spring Rolls, a Spicy Tuna Roll, Drunken Noodles and Red Curry with Pork and Rice. With a nice glass of Josh Sauvignon Blanc, it really hit the spot. I love The Key Thai and Sushi restaurant, located in a strip mall near a Dollar Store, and it’s a stone’s throw from our condo, making it super convenient.

Saturday night was Surf ‘N Turf, with grilled shrimp, coffee-rubbed filet mignons, a delicious Caesar salad, baked potatoes and mushrooms cooked with red wine. We used bamboo skewers, soaked in water, to grill the shrimp and we used two, so the shrimp didn’t curl up. Quite yummy and then we went down to the Chickee Hut (which Wyatt used to call the chicken hut) to have a glass of wine and watch the sunset with fellow condo owners. Again, no one had masks on.

Zeke’s returned to Miami, since the girls accused us of bailing on them and he has work. He will now be the chief cook and bottle washer at home, while I relax in my little slice of paradise. “Alone, alone, alone!” as Dorothy told Jerry McGuire. And some restaurants in the Keys are opening for business, starting today. So that first restaurant meal I dreamed of, on the water, with a seafood dinner and the perfect margarita, may be eaten by myself.

Up Next: Easy Cinco de Mayo Meal with the Perfect Margarita, How to Grocery Shop Safely and What to do with Ten Pounds of Stone Crabs.