What could we have done differently to prevent this whole fiasco? Plenty, methinks. I have heard so many people who THINK they already had the virus in January or February, even though they weren’t tested, because it was before COVID was a news item. Is this paranoia common in 2020? Or is it justified? I also know of a lot of people, who have suddenly decided to move from their house, city, state, job, you name it. The self-reflection forced upon us in Pandemic quarantine has brought plenty of radical changes.

My favorite neighbor Maggie has moved to Coconut Grove. I’m happy for her as she embarks on this new chapter of her life, but I will miss her. I didn’t get a chance to really say goodbye, since I’m down (up?) in the Keys. Not that I could’ve hugged her, at any rate. And after being in the Keys alone for so long, I’ve started to veer into a weird territory- growing scallion ends and succulents, researching recipes for pickled watermelon rind and taking photos of mushrooms growing in my condo development to see if they’re edible. If the Pandemic doesn’t get me, the mushrooms may.

And Wyatt’s gone for a week, so I miss him.

It seems people are divided in our country on many fronts. One example is the working vs. not working camps; this even comes into play in my own family. My son Christopher is a welder in Tallahassee, his wife Courtney a Labor and Delivery Nurse in a hospital. When I Face Timed with them last week, Christopher told me he only worked 25 hours the week before. Courtney, on the other hand, is working more than ever. Her hospital has always been understaffed, but added to that now is people out sick with COVID or awaiting results from COVID, and they’re severely understaffed. She’s working her a** off and she’s pregnant! My son wants more work, but it’s not there. The situation is frustrating and it seems, no one’s happy.

My friend Katy is a server at Disney World and was one of the “lucky” ones hired back recently. But instead of her normal 6 hour shifts, on different days, she now has 12 hour shifts, four days in a row. And she has to wear, not only a mask, but a plastic face shield while serving Disney diners- she’s on her feet all day and she’s my age (60). Not easy! But when the 7000 Disney employees who got hired back complained about the working conditions in an online chat group, the 12,000 who haven’t been hired back said: “Stop complaining. At least you have a job!” And the $600 a week unemployment boost by the government, to help citizens in the Pandemic, ends at the end of this month.

Apparently, lingerie sales are up 50% in the Pandemic. Not in this household. Mumus and yoga clothes are still in steady rotation. We’ve been looking into buying a boat this summer (a dream of ours for a while), but apparently they’re a hot commodity right now, since everyone wants to be out on the water, socially distancing. Since being in the Keys for a month straight, I’ve started noticing things here that need to be fixed/organized/replaced, so I’ve made some Amazon purchases, delivered to the Keys. All my kitchen appliances are original, from the 90’s, so I’m thinking about replacing them, especially my Hotpoint microwave, which I feel must have been a prototype for microwaves. There’s no turntable that spins and when I put my coffee in to heat it up, the mug comes out hot, the coffee cold, so besides being ineffective, I worry about getting zapped with radioactive waves.

At home, our roof is still not fixed, but they have found the leak, thank God. The deck guy I got to install our deck was cheaper than the rest (originally), but he underestimated the size of the deck, so I had to pay him $2000 more. And when the contractor pulled up the deck, they found he had screwed the faux wood panels into the roof, which caused our roof to leak, so my “cheap” deck is going to end up costing me a fortune. Lesson learned.

My week of meals down in the Keys ended up being (at least somewhat) the way I envisioned them. Monday I made shrimp ceviche, a Cotsco recipe (Ceviche Salad with Avocado, Cilantro and Green Chile) since I had all the ingredients already. I wanted to give a little oomph, so mixed a simple mashed avocado sauce to put on top, along with sriracha (for color and heat). I also wanted a little crunch to my salad, so heated a flour tortilla in the cast iron skillet to go with it and sliced it into wedges. Yummy and pretty healthy.

Tuesday, I stuck with my normal Num Thai take-out, with an order of crispy duck and stuffed tuna. I’d read about the stuffed tuna on Yelp. It’s basically a slice of ahi tuna wrapped around crabmeat tossed in spicy mayo and it was as good as Yelped about. I fufilled my fantasy of grilled teriyaki chicken and corn on Thursday night. Zeke always accuses me of trying to “man his grill”, so this was my chance to man it myself. It turned out fantastic, but prefer boiled corn to grilled, even with the wasabi butter I slathered it with, to keep with the Asian theme.

On Wednesday, I made a Grilled Cheese Sandwich with Muenster cheese, guava preserves and arugula, on fresh rye bread. My Mom always used Muenster cheese for making grilled cheese sandwiches when I was growing up; it melts perfectly. The secret to getting a golden crust on the sandwich was spreading mayo on the bread (neat trick!); the preserves and arugula took it from a Ho Hum grilled cheese to Heck, yea! I served it with some quinoa bean salad my neighbor in the Key’s had dropped off for me. It was an easy, comforting dinner.

I also made Key Lime Bars with Vanilla Wafer Crust (a NYT Food recipe), just because I felt like it. It was basically a Key Lime Pie in bar form, but the vanilla wafer crust was kind of genius. It made the crust crunchier, and unlike the crumbly, graham cracker crust with a hint of cinnamon, focuses the palate on the intense Key Lime filling. Zeke loved them.

While I’ve been hunkered down in the Keys, Zeke has been in Miami whipping up gourmet meals for Rachel and, sometimes, Lauren. When I complained that he never whipped up these creative (or basically any) meals for me, he came down to the Keys equipped with a very fancy Coquille St. Jacques recipe (Ina Garten). He sautéed shallots with brandy and cream; it smelled heavenly. Best of all, this scallop recipe can be made ahead, stored in the fridge and baked later, which is what we did. He served it with rice and it was delicious. Saturday night, Zeke grilled a stuffed pork chop and served it with a Dijon, maple sauce. I made roasted Brussel Sprouts with balsamic vinegar to go with it. Both meals were winners and much appreciated.

We ate lunch at Mrs. Mac’s on Friday, which felt like Saturday all day because Zeke came down on Thursday. We sat outside (of course) and each got a cup of their Conch Chowder and split the Superfish Sandwich with onion rings. It came with grilled yellowtail snapper, sliced tomato, Swiss cheese and 1000 island dressing, on grilled whole wheat bread. It was really good and the service is always attentive and friendly at Mrs. Mac’s, a true local gem.

I can’t really complain about being quarantined in the Keys, as I’ve always wanted to seclude myself here and just write. Now I have the perfect excuse. I’ve been walking every day, reading a Travis McGee murder mystery (Bright Orange For the Shroud) and watching Chef’s Table, the ABC Murders and Clueless (25 year anniversary) on T.V. I’d like to paddleboard but I’m deathly afraid of sharks. I realize the chance of me getting bit by a shark is one in 3.75 million, but I feel like if it was ever going to happen, this would be the year. And Natalie Wood was deathly afraid of drowning, and you know how that ended.

I’m lucky I have a pool to swim in, as it seems to be the most desirable home luxury to have this summer. I was reading an article on The Skimm about how “Inflatable Pools are the Official Symbol of America’s Lost Summer.” The article said, about people ordering inflatable pools, if this Summer has a theme it would be: “It’s Better Than Nothing.” People are making do, doing without, realizing this might be as good as it gets, especially since Americans are allowed to travel like, nowhere. The article ended with “It’s 2020. Take a nice dip in all of your abandoned dreams.”

I’d been planning a Road Trip to visit my Mom’s condo in Steamboat Springs, Colorado with my Mom, A.J. and Wyatt. We were going to drive there, fly back, but after knowing a couple people who got, or were exposed to COVID on flights, I really didn’t think it was the right time to be flying. Especially with my eighty-something year old mom. And, Zeke and I were going to fly up to D.C. with Lauren to get her set up in her apartment to start Georgetown Law School in August, but now we’ve decided to drive instead. After dropping Lauren off, Zeke and I are going to knock off three more states on my Bucket List- West Virginia, Maryland and Delaware.

The expression “There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” has been on my mind a lot lately. It’s a grisly little saying and while I have no desire to skin a cat, it’s just kind of been my theme for 2020. Because if this year has taught us anything, it’s how to pivot on a dime. If you can’t go on an Alaskan cruise this summer (like I was supposed to), vacay in the Keys, if you don’t have a pool at home, buy an inflatable one, if you can’t fly somewhere, drive and, if you don’t have a boat, paddleboard instead. Just watch out for sharks!

We’re gonna need a bigger boat!

Brody (aka Roy Schneider) in Jaws.

Up Next: Key West Food Tour Seafood Lover’s Tour and Best Melting Cheeses.

Crabmeat is an overlooked protein and although the Crab Toast is quite an indulgent dish, the Asparagus Soup is from EatingWell.com, and is a healthy option. The creaminess the soup comes from a pureed potato, not actual cream. If you want to skip making your own mayo for the Crab Toast, feel free, but the brown butter is a must, taking this dish to another level. The leftover sauce can be mixed in with cooked lobster, shrimp or crabmeat and served on a toasted bun, for an unbelievable sandwich.

Crab Toast by Gabrielle Hamilton 4 servings Prep Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick)

1 whole egg, plus one egg yolk

2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice

Koscher salt

1/2 cup grapeseed oil

12 ounces of crabmeat

4 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil

2 teaspoons finely minced chives

1 teaspoon creme fraiche, sour cream, heavy cream or half and half

4 to 6 slices of black pumpernickel or other rustic bread, toasted on both sides

Step 1

In a small sauce pot, brown the butter over medium heat, swirling the pot, until the butter is caramel-colored and has a nutty fragrance, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a bowl, scraping up all the milk solids from the bottom and sides of the pot while the butter is still hot and let cool to room temperature.

Step 2

Place the egg and egg yolk, 2 tablespoons lemon juice, a healthy pinch of salt and 1 tablespoon cold water in the bowl of a food processor. With the processor running slowly drizzle in the grapeseed oil. Once all the oil has been added, the mayonnaise should be loose yet emulsified. While the processor is still running, slowly drizzle in the brown butter and any toasted milk solids. Season to taste with salt and set aside.

Step 3

For the crab salad, gently and quickly mix crab meat, olive oil, chives, creme fraiche and remaining 1 teaspoon lemon juice together in a bowl. Season to taste with salt.

Step 4

Schmear each piece of toasted bread with the brown butter mayo evenly- as we like to say, “wall to wall”. Divide the crab mixture among the slices piling it evenly on top.

Asparagus Soup EatingWell.com Serves 2 Prep Time, 20 minutes. Total, 30 minutes.

Ingredients

1 14 ounce can chicken broth

1/4 cup water

1 yellow fleshed potato, such as Yukon Gold, peeled and cut into 1/2″ cubes.

1 medium shallot, thinly sliced

1 clove garlic, thinly sliced

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

1/2 teaspoon dried savory or marjoram

1/8 teaspoon salt

12 ounces asparagus, tough ends removed, sliced into 1 inch pieces

1 1/2 ounces thinly sliced prosciutto, chopped

Freshly ground pepper

Directions

1. Place broth water, potato, shallot, garlic, thyme, savory and salt in a large saucepan. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer until the potato is tender about 5 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, cook prosciutto in a small skillet over medium heat, stirring until crisp, about 5 minutes.
3. Pour the soup into a large blender or food processor; puree until smooth, scraping down the sides if necessary. Season with pepper. Serve topped with crispy prosciutto. Pro Tip: This soup can be made ahead up to 2 days and reheated.

I asked my friend Martha, who is a social Cuban butterfly, how she was holding up in the pandemic.

“Oh, I change from one mumu to another every day,” she said.

She really misses having dinner parties, socializing, going shopping and out to lunch.

Martha is kind of famous for her mumus, which are not actually mumus, but Mexican embroidered, cotton dresses. If she invites us to dinner and says “I’m in my mumu,” we know she’ll greet us barefoot and dinner will be a casual affair, around the kitchen table.

When I mentioned getting a mumu like Martha’s to Zeke a while ago, he was firmly against it. He thought it would be an indication I’d given up on life. Now, however, I asked how he would feel if I ordered a Mexican mumu and he said “At least I’ll know you’ve changed out of your pajamas.”

Because, even though last week I actually changed out of yoga clothes into dresses a couple times, this week I regressed, staying in my pajamas for more than the morning. It’s interesting to see how people are dressing during the stay-at-home coronavirus scare.

Chrissy Teigen said on Ellen, she’s in her element because she likes to lounge around in robes during normal circumstances. She has a wide variety of robes, acquired from all over, from vintage, to sexy and flirty; Stay at Home orders are the perfect opportunity to showcase them. The Pioneer Woman, who I watched yesterday, wore a kimono over a black top. I like kimonos, but certainly don’t think they’re the most practical thing to cook in, given the drapey sleeves. I can just see one landing in my pancake batter or being set aflame from the stove.

And some women are apparently going braless during this time of social isolation. This was actually an article in The Miami Herald last week. That is how desperate the situation is getting. The only news in the paper is coronavirus-related, even fashion wise (or lack thereof).

There was a segment on CBS Sunday Morning about a woman who went through her closet, trying on clothes that reminded her of happy occasions. She then took selfies and posted them to Instagram. She said it made her feel so much better about life. This sounds like the worst kind of torture to me. I HATE trying on clothes, even ones that remind me of happy occasions. And I’m sure a lot of them wouldn’t even fit me right now.

And there’s also the pillowcase challenge, where people are strapping a pillow to themselves with a belt, and taking selfies. Halle Berry rocked this look, looking like an Audrey Hepburn Breakfast at Tiffanys diva, but she could look good wearing a paper bag. I’m not jumping on this craze anytime soon; Lately, I just need a small pillow to scream into on occasion.

Every Day is a Bad hair Day

Everyone seems concerned with their hair these days, and what to do about it. I have a friend who had her hairstylist come to her house and color and cut her hair and also, the rest of the family. My friend Ellen attempting to cut what she calls her “tri-color” hair. She confessed it turned out lopsided. Our friend Sherida said she cut her own bangs and her boyfriend’s hair, but this is something she did before the pandemic. So, if you have those skills, go for it but I will not attempt to cut my own hair, nor any of my loved ones. For this, they should be thankful.

My hair is getting darker by the day, so I broke down and ordered a tip kit on Amazon, although It hasn’t come yet. I haven’t been a natural blonde since I was about 15, but when my hair gets dark I just don’t feel like myself. Luckily (I think) some of my hair is growing in grey so it doesn’t look as dark as usual. Come to think of it, my hair is tri-colored too with: my natural (dark) roots, highlighted ends and encroaching grey strands at the temples.

In the last six weeks, I’ve given myself two mani-pedis and endless facial masks. My nails never turn out as good when I do it myself (they always get messed up) and of course, I don’t have a massage chair, which is the best part of getting a mani-pedi. I have a friend who has her Nail Lady come to her house and I’m thinking that my friends who have Hairstylist/Nail Techs/Masseuses come to their house are on to something. Import your staff and be an island unto yourself.

I’m hoping my housekeeper will consider coming back soon. While the girls originally, in optimistic first days of the outbreak, were pretty good about picking up after themselves in the kitchen, these days there are countless cookie sheets, dishes, glasses and silverware collecting on the counter and in the sink. I finally left a note informing them to clean after themselves and that “Isa is not here.”

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

Emma was supposed to graduate from F.S.U. last Saturday. They did a Virtual Graduation at 2 p.m., but did not call individual names, as there were too many students. What normally stretches over two days, with two ceremonies a day, was condensed into one ceremony. I’m not sure who would want to watch a Virtual Graduation, especially without hearing the student’s name being called. The commencement addresses are usually something you suffer through to see your child cross the stage and grab their hard-earned (and expensive) diploma. Watching the ceremony, without that payoff in the end, seems pointless.

We did have a graduation dinner for Emma on Wednesday. She wanted stone crabs and, as luck would have it, my brother-in-law called to see if we wanted some Sunday. The only catch was, they were selling them in 10 pound portions, so we took 10 pounds and made three meals and a dip with them. Commercial fisherman who used to sell their stone crabs to hotels and restaurants have been left with a lot of inventory and no one to buy it. Stone Crab season ends May 15th.

The graduation dinner consisted of: cracked stone crabs with mustard sauce and butter, Joe’s tomatoes, Cole slaw, hash browns and pecan pie for dessert (Emma’s request). Zeke also made his famous tuna nachos as an appetizer to go with the celebratory champagne.

Since I had so many stone crabs, I made Crab Toast on Tuesday, a NYT recipe from Gabrielle Hamilton, chef and owner of Prune. It was delicious (even though I messed up the recipe). I served it with asparagus soup, topped with crispy prosciutto, making a perfect Spring meal. My favorite meal all week was a Stone Crab Roll I came up with, since I had leftover stone crab meat and a mayo, butter sauce. I served it on a butter-toasted hamburger bun (I had no hot dog buns) with shredded lettuce and a thin slice of beefsteak tomato. It was heavenly. The buttery crunch of the bread with the creamy, succulent crab meat, fresh snap of the lettuce and sweetness of the tomato, made it a memorable sandwich.

Zeke cooked on Sunday. I made a super easy 2-ingredient dip with chipotle in adobo and cashews; I served it with pita chips, cooked in the oven, for an appetizer. We sipped wine as Zeke grilled steaks on his charcoal grill. He made a delicious, perfectly cooked steak, with Gorgonzola cheese, a shallot, balsamic vinegar sauce, baked potatoes, salad and a baguette. Dessert was ice cream with a caramel fig sauce and a pita chip garnish.

Since I ordered seven heads of garlic on mistake, I made Chicken with Forty Cloves of Garlic for Monday’s meal, a delicious James Beard recipe. I served it with mashed potatoes, Brussel Sprouts and, of course, hot crusty bread to dip into the jus and spread the roasted garlic on. A tip: Farm Stores sells delicious freshly baked bread and it will save you a trip to the germy grocery store.

Start me Up…

I was very excited when I picked up some sourdough starter from a friend’s house, but when I asked for instructions on what to do with it, she told me to “Feed it three days every 12 hours, then once a week. Feed it an hour before you use it.” I wasn’t sure if I had sourdough starter on my hands or a demanding tamagotchi. I haven’t made any bread with it yet, but it’s on my list of future projects.

Probably the most exciting news this week is our tenants in our Key Largo condo finally left Friday, clearing the decks for us to reclaim “our little slice of Paradise”. Joy turned to dismay when we discovered several treasured items that their dog destroyed. There was also dog hair all over the couch and easy chair, which sent Zeke into a sneezing fit. I don’t think we’ll ever rent again. Lesson learned.

People in the Keys (and only Key’s residents can be down here now) don’t seem as vigilant about following rules for the coronavirus as in Miami. Publix on Saturday was packed with people, many without masks and not following the arrows indicating direction down the aisles. The cashiers and bag boys, did have masks, however. People walking down the street, for the most part, aren’t wearing masks.

“Maybe because there are so few cases?” I speculated to my sister Kelley, who’s been stuck at home by herself since this whole thing started.

“Or maybe because it’s the Keys, and people in the Keys don’t like to follow rules,” she said.

Zeke ordered me a cute face covering from the Florida Keys Brewing Company, one of our favored establishments. You wear it around your neck when not in use, then pull it up over mouth and nose when needed. It’s pretty neat. I have to admit, I’ve had a hard time with this mask thing. My sister Kelley gave me a mask she made, but it was a little large and gaped at my chin. I made my own mask with a bandana, but it’s so thick it practically suffocates me when I use it. My latest option, seems the best, although I discovered it doesn’t work with ponytails.

After unpacking stuff we brought down, having to call a locksmith to get into our owner’s closet (I packed the key IN the owner’s closet) and unpacking the boxes from the owner’s closet, we were too tired to cook so ordered Thai food from The Key Thai and Sushi. We got Spring Rolls, a Spicy Tuna Roll, Drunken Noodles and Red Curry with Pork and Rice. With a nice glass of Josh Sauvignon Blanc, it really hit the spot. I love The Key Thai and Sushi restaurant, located in a strip mall near a Dollar Store, and it’s a stone’s throw from our condo, making it super convenient.

Saturday night was Surf ‘N Turf, with grilled shrimp, coffee-rubbed filet mignons, a delicious Caesar salad, baked potatoes and mushrooms cooked with red wine. We used bamboo skewers, soaked in water, to grill the shrimp and we used two, so the shrimp didn’t curl up. Quite yummy and then we went down to the Chickee Hut (which Wyatt used to call the chicken hut) to have a glass of wine and watch the sunset with fellow condo owners. Again, no one had masks on.

Zeke’s returned to Miami, since the girls accused us of bailing on them and he has work. He will now be the chief cook and bottle washer at home, while I relax in my little slice of paradise. “Alone, alone, alone!” as Dorothy told Jerry McGuire. And some restaurants in the Keys are opening for business, starting today. So that first restaurant meal I dreamed of, on the water, with a seafood dinner and the perfect margarita, may be eaten by myself.

Up Next: Easy Cinco de Mayo Meal with the Perfect Margarita, How to Grocery Shop Safely and What to do with Ten Pounds of Stone Crabs.