First, I was busy planning Emma and Guillermo’s wedding, then flying to Costa Rica, then disaster struck. My husband Zeke broke his ankle the day before the wedding on a Monkey Excursion. Ironically, we picked it because it seemed the safest of the excursion options and, with the bride being pregnant, ziplining, horseback riding and surfing were out.

But the Monkey Excursion, where we were told we’d stay in the van searching for Howler monkeys, seemed quite safe. After an hour with no monkey sightings, we stopped the van and got out when we heard some monkeys howling. We climbed up a rocky embankment, saw some Scarlet Macaws in a tree and, while walking back to the van, Zeke (wearing flip flops), slipped down, fell on his ankle and shattered it. The ensuing chaos that follows, I don’t want to get into, but luckily he made it to the wedding.

He wasn’t able to walk Emma down the aisle, but was standing there waiting to “give her away” and, while he couldn’t dance with her either, he did stand on the dance floor and sway with her to Butterfly Kisses. I told Emma before the wedding that something always goes wrong at a wedding, but normally it’s fine because no one will know what happened but you.

At my wedding they served green beans with dill instead of green beans almondine. Looking back at it, who cares? But Zeke breaking his ankle? Everyone at the wedding knew, all the staff at the hotel (which was lovely) knew and even some hotel guests had heard about it. Zeke, and his unlucky mishap, were the talk of Punta Islita.

There were things to be thankful for. While we got extreme pressure to have surgery in Costa Rica, he did not (thank God), thanks to Emma sending a photo to a doctor friend in Miami. The doctor in San Jose (a friend of the groom’s uncle) just reset and cast his ankle. We arrived in Miami without incident, he got surgery a week later and is now on the road to recovery.

I have learned some hard truths from this experience. It’s funny how you can be married to someone for almost 20 years and still not really know them. I didn’t realize that Zeke is fanatical about his showers. I mean, like a fiend. He insisted, in our hotel room in Costa Rica to take a shower with his broken ankle. He had to haul the cast over a tall ledge into the shower in order to accomplish this task and his crutches almost slipped on the wet tile upon exiting. I almost had a heart attack.

“No!”, I said. “You can’t fall again.”

Also, he drinks a lot of iced tea. I never realized how much, but in the first week we were home, it seemed all I did was make iced tea and slice lemons. Also, breakfast, lunch and dinner. And cleaned up.

Normally, I cook, he cleans (or as he says, he cooks and cleans) but now, all the responsibility and work has fallen on me. It is really exhausting, on top of driving to doctor’s appointments, picking up medicine, sorting out medicine, etc… It gives me a great deal of respect for caregivers, and this is only a broken ankle- a temporary situation. And, although being in a wheelchair did help us speed through customs upon our arrival in Miami, I’ve also become keenly aware of how handicap-accessible places are (or are not).

We went to the Keys the weekend before last and most of the restaurants are not at all handicap accessible. Most have gravel driveways which make it hard to navigate on crutches and impossible to travel with a knee scooter.

The knee scooter, which has been a life-saver, was delivered the day before the surgery. The delivery came late and the man delivering it, knew Costa Rica very well. We told him the whole story about the Monkey Excursion, the embankment, the deadly flip flops, and he shook his head and said none of that mattered. That it was fate that it happened and that nothing we could have done would have prevented it. He was quite a chatty (probably why he was late) and philosophical scooter delivery man, with an upbeat personality.

And since I would like to find the silver lining in this disaster I’m inclined to agree with him. This accident has made me appreciate all the things my husband normally does around the house. It really hit home last weekend when I had 30 people over for my 3 year old grandson Phoenix’s birthday party. Zeke usually helps a lot- cutting the grass, cooking, cleaning, getting ice- but this year, he couldn’t and it make me appreciate what a partnership our marriage really is. The first one was not like that.

I think Zeke also has a new appreciation for me. He used to call me Nurse Ratchet (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest); now he calls me Florence Nightingale. I wouldn’t go that far, but I have tried to rise to the occasion. And so this disaster that happened at Emma and Guilllermo’s wedding has actually turned out to be a blessing, of sorts, for our marriage.

My Wish

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow And each road leads you where you want to go And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose. I hope you choose the one that means the most to you. And if one door opens to another door closed I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window. If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

But more than anything, more than anything. My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that want it to Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to. I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too

Yeah, this is my wish.

Rascal Flats

This was a song I had requested they play at the wedding for Emma. They never did play it and, after everything else, I let it go. But it still holds true. And my wish, after all this is over, is to go on a really nice trip for our 20th year wedding anniversary. But not Costa Rica. Never Costa Rica again for me.

Up Next: Redoing my Foodie in Miami website!

Zeke is back to snoring! I guess the menthol shock to his tonsils worked temporarily but apparently they adjusted, and the buzz saw is back to work. One thing that did last a long time was my stomach flu, which I had for a full six days!

The food I ate during this time was pathetic. I thought of taking photos of it, but when I looked through the lens at a bowl of white rice, a slice of dry toast, a tub of white yogurt, I just couldn’t. It was white, white and white and boring! Friends encouraged me to take the time to reset, detox and get my life back on track, while losing a few pounds in the process.

I tried to enjoy childhood foods for their simplicity- chicken broth with rice, Cream of Wheat, mashed bananas- but honestly- it was awful. And after babying my digestive system each day, I expected my stomach to reward me the next morning by settling down to normal, but it took a long time! Patience is not a virtue I have much of.

During this time, I also discovered my eyesight is going. I already wear reading glasses, but I guess I need to up the magnification. I also discovered a weird ache in my forearms, emanating from my elbows that is rather painful. So, basically, I’m falling apart.

On the plus side, I finished my book for Book Club– The Year of Dangerous Days. On the minus side, I wasn’t able to attend the Book Club Meeting Tuesday, due to the stomach flu. I’d made a cute Pumpkin Cheese Ball to bring as a hostess gift. It’s just like a regular cheese ball, but you cover it in Everything Seasoning, wrap it in plastic wrap and tie with kitchen twine to make a pumpkin shape. The stem was from a bell pepper. We had it for an appetizer with crackers, Sunday night.

During my convalescence, I watched a movie trending on Netflix– The Luckiest Girl in the World with Mila Kunis. I thought it was very good, but it does deal with triggering subject matter (school shooting)- so it’s not for everyone.

New favorite Podcast is Smartless, with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Will Arnett. Bateman and Arnett were on Arrested Development together and Sean Hayes is best known for his stint on Will and Grace. These three dudes are hilarious together as they interview a surprise guest. Thanks to my sister Elise for this recommendation.

I do have things to look forward to on the horizon. The CSA from Empower Farms is going to start soon (fresh fruits and veggies), I’ve gotten my shipment from Scout and Cellar wines and Season 6 of The Crown begins November 9th. And, I’m going to visit Chris, Courtney and Liam for Halloween. Scooby Dooby Doo, here we come!

Luckily, my stomach recuperated in time for the U.M. Football game on Saturday. I went with A.J., Wyatt and Phoenix and, since the game was at 12:30, I brought a Tailgate lunch and drinks for us to share.

I made Fruit Kebabs (that I forgot at home!), Ritzy Chicken Fingers (with Ritz Cracker coating) and Maple Mustard, Pasta Salad and Monster Maple Cookies. I was on a bit of a Maple Kick, due to recipes in the Herald from a maple farm in a new cookbook, called Maple Syrup Recipes with Tips and Tales from Hurry Hill. The chicken fingers got a bit soggy in the commute, but the Maple Cookies were a keeper.

It was fun to have a bite to eat with the boys, before heading into the stadium. to watch UM play Duke. Unfortunately, the Hurricanes were losing when we left at halftime. We heard a huge ROAR as we walked to the car, when UM scored a TD in the third half, but we ended up losing miserably! I had no time to think about it because I had a wedding to attend at the old Centrust Building (now called the Miami Tower).

It was a perfect night for an outdoor wedding and the venue, overlooking Brickell and downtown Miami, was beautiful. The bride Lauren, our friend Brook’s daughter, looked absolutely stunning and you could see the joy on her face as she walked down the aisle. They both looked so happy, standing under the trellis! We had met Lauren and her fiance Chris, many times before and were delighted to share in their special day.

Sunday, Zeke smoked a beef brisket for dinner. He had to get up at 6 a.m. to start it and it involved basting the brisket with a mustard mixture, filling a little metal container with wood chips and making a liquid mixture to smoke the meat with. It basically had to be babysat all day, then it was removed, wrapped in Butcher Paper and put back in the smoker. Then, at a certain temp, removed and stored in a cooler. It was quite the process! Our backyard (and my newly washed hair) smelled like a campfire.

Emma and Gui came over for dinner and, let me tell you, that Smoked Beef Brisket was so juicy and delicious, it made whatever Zeke had to do to it, worth it. I served it with Mashed Potatoes, little Green Peas, Cucumber Salad, Corn Bread and Fruit Kebabs no one touched. Maple Cookies were once again dessert.

Emma and Gui almost bought a little house recently but backed out of it and now Emma kind of regrets it. She still drives by and wonders if she made the right decision. She really loved that little house, but was stressed with all it paperwork and commitment it entailed.

Zeke and I are watching Bachelor in Paradise (horrible, I know), but they take a bunch of girls and guys, stick them on an island and see what happens. Some of them get together, some of them regroup with other people, but they always talk about their “connection“. Like “my connection to so and so is more than it is to this other person”, which is how they choose who they want to be with.

When you think about it, life is all about connections. Whether it’s to a house, a neighborhood, a city, a state or a country, we want that feeling of something that clicks. And, of course, with people- whether it’s a realtor, a partner, a friend, classmates, teachers, workmates, teammates, spouses. Someone could look perfect on paper and then you meet them and… no chemistry.

In this age of Zoom and Social Media and Internet, E-mail, Voice Mail, text, the only way to test a connection needs to be in person, no phoning it in. Like a guy at the UM game said last week: “There’s something about this team that just isn’t clicking.” It’s indefinable, this secret sauce that makes people, teams, gel or not. It can’t be manufactured or faked. It’s got to be real.

Speaking of which, the one and only, very real and hilarious Leslie Jordan passed away Monday from a car accident. He was truly one-of-a-kind and such a bright light in the middle of the Pandemic with his hilarious Instagram posts. “Hello there fellow Hunker-Downers!” he said, in his Southern drawl. Remember when we were all fellow Hunker-Downers?

Luckily, we are no longer! We are out and about, connecting, gathering, mingling, traveling, socializing with people we “click with” and enjoying life. It only takes something like a little stomach bug to knock you off your feet to make you appreciate how wonderful normal life really is.

Invisible threads are the strongest ties.

Friedrich Nietsche

Up Next: Melt-in-Your-Mouth Maple Cookies